Daycare vs Nanny

Well, I haven’t been posting much lately… because there’s not much happening. During summer everything kind of slows down. There’s even no Wendy Williams show, which is my daily routine: I make some coffee in the morning and watch the previous night’s episode. I kind of feel weird and not myself when my routine is changed.

I’m just waiting for day care to start (beginning of September) so I can start working with a peaceful mind. I’m not going to lie, this nanny thing is complicated – you never know what kind of person she is and how will she handle things. Not to mention the cost. That’s why I’m so happy that my younger one got accepted to the day care.

Even if I had the money for a nanny I would still choose day care. If I had my sister or mom closer and able to watch out for the kids, I would still choose day care. I will write about the reasons in another post.

Mom rant no.2: Make a larger age gap between your kids

If you know you’re someday going to have more than one kid, I’ll be straightforward, make a larger age gap between them. Save yourself. A few years won’t make a big difference for them, but it will for you.

Let me tell you, from experience. Kids, when they are very young (I’m talking bellow 3-4 years) don’t know there is two (or more) of them, and only one of you. That’s why you will be torn between them. They want their needs satisfied and don’t really care about others. So, for the first couple of years you are going to be only a service, mom service.

Not only will it do good to you, but to your children as well. The fact is that when you have two babies, or toddlers, or a combination of both, it’s hard to give them the amount of attention that they want or need.

So make your kids AND yourself a favor and wait 2-3-4 years till you get pregnant again.

Did I mention how much I love summer?

Too bad it lasts only 4 months.

Yesterday we were at the beach for the whole day. The sea is a cure for my mind, literally. Aside the tranquility that it provides for me, it is also a source of fun and entertainment for the kids so I can have a moment of relaxation. Finally. Aside from a couple of tantrums thrown by my 2-year-old, for the most of the time it was pure joy.

I lived for a year in college inland (in the capital of my country), I missed this so much. The sound of waves reaching the shore …… mmmmm.

UPDATE: Finally I got some tan. Usually I leave the beach with a lobster color on my shoulders and lower back. Not to mention my butt…

 

Sometimes happy = childless (or better: child-free)

I want to write a story about an exceptional young woman, who, for the purpose of this post, I will name Jane.

As I said, Jane is an extraordinary young woman. Coming from a very dysfunctional family she had a rough time growing up. Nothing was given to her, instead, she had to fight for everything that she wanted. College, job, other accomplishments and money, nothing was given served on a silver platter. She moved, by herself, to another country where she knew neither the people, nor the language.

After years and years of cleaning, washing dishes, and waitressing through her high school and college she finally got a good job. Jane is now working a job that corresponds to her vocation. She is and engineer. An electrical and computer engineer. On her graduation day, besides hundreds of men, she was one out of a dozen women graduates.

Now, she is in her mid-twenties and living the time of her life. Well deserved time. Traveling, going to clubs, hanging out with her girlfriends, buying nice clothes,… just having fun.

I forgot to mention that Jane, besides herself, supported her mother and single-mother-of-two sister. She always showed support, both financial and emotional, to her family. Especially to her young niece and nephew. They love her a lot, but she loves them more… like a second mommy. She changed their diapers, played with them, took them to the beach and playground etc. When she was felt lonely she often thought about them.

So, how do I explain how much it annoys me to hear that famous two questions “When will you get married?” and “When will you have kids?” directed to her. They make it sound like all of her previous accomplishments mean nothing because she didn’t get married nor has she children.

I, myself, am a mother of two. I had them at a very young age (for western society criteria), yet I have never thought that I should have been put on a pedestal because of that. Today’s women, when they go through pregnancy, birthing and taking care of a baby (or toddler) think that only they have achieved this lifetime accomplishment and nobody else knows how a huge sacrifice it is. Well, newsflash, women did it for thousands of years, you’re not that special. 

You don’t even have to pop out a bunch of kids to be special or, even, relevant. I see a lot of mothers who clearly had their children because society expected them to. That’s why I admire women who chose not to have kids; because they stayed true to themselves  and did what they wanted or felt was a good choice for them. I see a lot of mothers who conformed to the society and it’s expectations and ended up dissatisfied and frustrated.

Yes, I know, parenting is an important topic on my blog, but I had to write about being child-free by choice since it concerns a person very close to me. I see a lot of people putting her down because of the fact that she isn’t married nor has children. I want to say to her that despite that fact IS valuable and important, and childlessness doesn’t affect a thing about her.

So cheers to you, Jane. Do what makes you happy, enjoy and don’t conform to other people’s expectations.

Three things about Rob and Chyna mess that left me speechless

As Wendy Williams said long before little Dream (Blac and Rob’s daughter) this relationship is going to benefit only two people: Blac Chyna and her mother – Tokio Toni. All of that publicity is good for business.

I just don’t agree with her on the matter of Kardashian_Jenner clan not talking some sense into Rob. I don’t believe they were just sitting there with their arms crossed, watching Rob fucking up his life. They were clearly against the relationship, Khloe in particular, as you could have seen it in their reality show. Everyone saw it coming, but, I believe, Rob had fallen in love with Blac Chyna at that time and you know how people are when they are head over ears in love. The feelings were one sided obviously.

Damn, Chyna, why do you now want to play victim?

Why the hell would you send your VIOLENT EX(!) a video of yourself making out in HIS bed with another man, who, by the way, wore HIS robe at the time?

To make him angry? Jealous? Sad? Provoke a reaction? Because, congratulations, you did it! But not exactly in the way you wanted it to be? Because, his response was to go on social media and reveal you to everyone on the internet. That wasn’t exactly the best option for him – he should have stopped at the mentioned video. He would have spared himself of revenge porn infringement.

Second, both Chyna’s children are primary raised by their daddies.

I mean BOTH? What the %$#”?

I truly believe that the two of them (Tyga and Rob) are trying to do their best as dads while Chyna, on the other hand, is preoccupied with herself. Yes, I agree that you shouldn’t leave your SELF aside when you become a mother, but Chyna is going too far.

Chyna not wanting any of Robs money

At least she had some decency not to ask for child support (Rob had cut her off financially after his rant on social media earlier this month).

Well, he already afforded her a very luxurious lifestyle, but that isn’t the point. The point is that with all this publicity that she gained from the moment she started dating him she will make more money that she would get from him. And most important – it will be her money, not his.

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I’m not taking his side, but I’m taking his side on this matter. I already wrote a post Blac Chyna – a different view about giving her credit because of her difficult beginnings and how much she has accomplished, while Rob, a crybaby raised with a silver spoon in his mouth was left with only that – calling her out on social media.

And, although it caused us, ordinary people with boring lives, a good laugh and entertainment so we can forget about that huge fucking gas bill, this is, in no way, how healthy grown ups would resolve their dispute.

How I quit smoking (three times :D)

I have been reading a lot of these articles about how to quit smoking and most of them talk about how it is essentially a nicotine addiction which you get rid of by using nicotine patches, nicotine pills etc. But I cannot agree with that, because for me it was a habit. I get up in the morning, I make some coffee and light up two cigarettes. I do the laundry, then I have another cigarette. I cook launch, then another one. I watch a movie, then again, another one. For me, smoking was kind of a reward, a way to conclude a task or mark off a milestone.

Health benefits, financial benefits, always the same reasons to stop and I never could. But then I realized; I smoke half of a pack of cigarettes = 10. I lose 10 minutes for every one of them (because I don’t smoke inside the house, I have to go outside for every smoke), which means more than an hour and a half every single day. Smoking is time-consuming. Now imagine what you could do with that much time?!

A lot of people who I talked about quitting smoking said that they were surprised of how much excess time they suddenly had when they got rid of that bad habit and how much more efficient they became.

Nicotine isn’t that addictive, when it comes to smoking – it’s the habit. Thus, the main reason I stopped smoking is finding a reason to quit. It’s all in your head. You just have to decide and find a good reason or activity to keep you away from cigarettes (eg. go for a walk, watch a movie, write a post). Just do something productive instead of wasting your time on “just one” smoke, because “just one” easily turns into a pack of cigarettes a day, and a lot of time wasted. 

And, of course, health and financial benefits only become icing on the cake. Not to mention you’ll get rid of the bad smell and bad taste in your mouth too.

Blac Chyna – a different view

I see a lot of people saying that Blac Chyna only did what the Kardashian sisters were doing for a quite some time now. But, actually, she did a lot more in comparison to them. While they were raised with a silver spoon in their mouth, Chyna had a lot more stairs to climb. One of those rags-to-riches stories.

Just to make it clear, I don’t justify her behavior. I think it is extremely wrong to go as far as having a baby out of pure revenge or spite and putting your kids second, after partying, doing drugs and men etc. That being said, I can continue…

For an example, only two of the Kardashian-Jenner kids finished or even enrolled into college: Kourtney and Rob. I remember in one episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians Khloe asked Kylie Jenner if she even knows how to do the laundry. Her answer was no, imagine that.

On the other hand, Blac Chyna, having been raised by a single mom and grandmother, working odd jobs, and even enrolling into college, stripping, and finally “making it” in Hollywood.

Everything the Kardashian-Jenner clan accomplished was due to their mom, meanwhile Chyna had to carve out her own path. I also think, that her baby daddies should take custody of Dream and King because she clearly isn’t in that place in life where she could care for her kids adequately.

And yes, I have to admit, this feud is so bizarre and interesting that i had to follow it carefully and write a post about it.

Just another single-mom-with-no-support-system rant

Never, in a million years, did I think that it wold be so tough. Yes, I was prepared that childbearing is going to be this much of a commitment and responsibility, but I didn’t thought that I would be so alone in it.

I had both of my kids in a little more than a year apart (14 months to be exact), everyone was going by their business and I didn’t expect much help from others, after all, the babies were still too young an very dependent of their mother. T

hen it all happened; within a year after my second child was born my sister and my mother moved to another country and 6 months later i separated from the father of my children. Soon after, he moved to another country as well. Not that I missed him – he was one of those daddies that abandon the ship which got caught in a storm. I guess he couldn’t handle the pressure and responsibility.

For the last 4 years everything revolves around them and, to sum it up, I just want some alone time. I want to go to the beach by myself, I want to swim and sunbathe not worrying what trouble my kids are going to do next, did I bring everything we might going to need, are they safe,are there any potential danger to them, are they hungry/thirsty/peed themselves/fighting/running away/jumping of a cliff/… You know what I mean.

I would like to go for a walk, watch a movie, go to a cafe without constantly worrying and looking for them. I would like to go grocery shopping by myself so I don’t have to run around chasing them, or begging them to “please get up from the floor and walk,” or handling tantrums while everyone is watching me and judging. I would even like to go to my dentist to fix this damn tooth because it’s killing me for 3 weeks already.

But I can’t. Because I am tired of constantly asking for someone to babysit them while I do a couple of errands.

To tell you the truth, I can’t wait for them to grow up so I could get some of that long lost freedom. I can’t wait to be thirty-something. Everyone says “Don’t say that you don’t mean it, enjoy your youth.”

I know that someday I will miss these days, because my kids will grow up and they won’t need me anymore, but today isn’t the day.

 

 

Every summer, same trouble

High temperatures, legs brace yourselves hot wax is coming. Someone told me that over time I will get used to the pain of waxing, but that time is yet to come (or at least I hope so), it still fucking hurts to the point where I have to gradually, over a couple of days, wax my lower legs. Damn. My kids are sleeping for an hour already and I still haven’t ought to get over with it.

Life goal: save up for an IPL machine. (When I think of the amount of time, patience and nausea, it sounds like a good investment).

Joy

So, I watched this movie a couple of days ago and it made quite an impression on me. A story of a woman in a really tough situation who made miracles happen. Great story, might I add.

The most inspirational movie I have seen in a while. The kind of movie that makes you strive to greater things and more accomplishments in your life.

Well, to make a long story short, it follows the life path of Joy Mangano (inventor of the miracle mop) from a struggling woman who is trying to make the ends meet, handling her dysfunctional  family, all while taking care of her young kids to an accomplished woman, owner of a multi-million-dollar company. What a great progress.

Now, I don’t know how loosely it is based on the life of the real Joy, but the on-screen story of Joy is truly remarkable, and when I saw the movie it kind of motivated me to be “better”, more hardworking and dedicated. It is a woman who handles a heavy burden and a lot of responsibilities of her every-day life.

I won’t write about more “technical stuff”, but Jennifer Lawrence did a great job in this movie. She became one of my favorite actresses, I realized i liked most of the movies she starred in.