Parenting

Just another single-mom-with-no-support-system rant

Never, in a million years, did I think that it wold be so tough. Yes, I was prepared that childbearing is going to be this much of a commitment and responsibility, but I didn’t thought that I would be so alone in it.

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I had both of my kids in a little more than a year apart (14 months to be exact), everyone was going by their business and I didn’t expect much help from others, after all, the babies were still too young an very dependent of their mother. T

hen it all happened; within a year after my second child was born my sister and my mother moved to another country and 6 months later i separated from the father of my children. Soon after, he moved to another country as well. Not that I missed him – he was one of those daddies that abandon the ship which got caught in a storm. I guess he couldn’t handle the pressure and responsibility.

For the last 4 years everything revolves around them and, to sum it up, I just want some alone time. I want to go to the beach by myself, I want to swim and sunbathe not worrying what trouble my kids are going to do next, did I bring everything we might going to need, are they safe,are there any potential danger to them, are they hungry/thirsty/peed themselves/fighting/running away/jumping of a cliff/… You know what I mean.

I would like to go for a walk, watch a movie, go to a cafe without constantly worrying and looking for them. I would like to go grocery shopping by myself so I don’t have to run around chasing them, or begging them to “please get up from the floor and walk,” or handling tantrums while everyone is watching me and judging. I would even like to go to my dentist to fix this damn tooth because it’s killing me for 3 weeks already.

But I can’t. Because I am tired of constantly asking for someone to babysit them while I do a couple of errands.

To tell you the truth, I can’t wait for them to grow up so I could get some of that long lost freedom. I can’t wait to be thirty-something. Everyone says “Don’t say that you don’t mean it, enjoy your youth.”

I know that someday I will miss these days, because my kids will grow up and they won’t need me anymore, but today isn’t the day.

 

 

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Blog

Every summer, same trouble

waxing ugh

High temperatures, legs brace yourselves hot wax is coming. Someone told me that over time I will get used to the pain of waxing, but that time is yet to come (or at least I hope so), it still fucking hurts to the point where I have to gradually, over a couple of days, wax my lower legs. Damn. My kids are sleeping for an hour already and I still haven’t ought to get over with it.

Life goal: save up for an IPL machine. (When I think of the amount of time, patience and nausea, it sounds like a good investment).

Celebrities/Entertainment

Joy

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So, I watched this movie a couple of days ago and it made quite an impression on me. A story of a woman in a really tough situation who made miracles happen. Great story, might I add.

The most inspirational movie I have seen in a while. The kind of movie that makes you strive to greater things and more accomplishments in your life.

Well, to make a long story short, it follows the life path of Joy Mangano (inventor of the miracle mop) from a struggling woman who is trying to make the ends meet, handling her dysfunctional  family, all while taking care of her young kids to an accomplished woman, owner of a multi-million-dollar company. What a great progress.

Now, I don’t know how loosely it is based on the life of the real Joy, but the on-screen story of Joy is truly remarkable, and when I saw the movie it kind of motivated me to be “better”, more hardworking and dedicated. It is a woman who handles a heavy burden and a lot of responsibilities of her every-day life.

I won’t write about more “technical stuff”, but Jennifer Lawrence did a great job in this movie. She became one of my favorite actresses, I realized i liked most of the movies she starred in.