Just another single-mom-with-no-support-system rant

Never, in a million years, did I think that it wold be so tough. Yes, I was prepared that childbearing is going to be this much of a commitment and responsibility, but I didn’t thought that I would be so alone in it.


I had both of my kids in a little more than a year apart (14 months to be exact), everyone was going by their business and I didn’t expect much help from others, after all, the babies were still too young an very dependent of their mother. T

hen it all happened; within a year after my second child was born my sister and my mother moved to another country and 6 months later i separated from the father of my children. Soon after, he moved to another country as well. Not that I missed him – he was one of those daddies that abandon the ship which got caught in a storm. I guess he couldn’t handle the pressure and responsibility.

For the last 4 years everything revolves around them and, to sum it up, I just want some alone time. I want to go to the beach by myself, I want to swim and sunbathe not worrying what trouble my kids are going to do next, did I bring everything we might going to need, are they safe,are there any potential danger to them, are they hungry/thirsty/peed themselves/fighting/running away/jumping of a cliff/… You know what I mean.

I would like to go for a walk, watch a movie, go to a cafe without constantly worrying and looking for them. I would like to go grocery shopping by myself so I don’t have to run around chasing them, or begging them to “please get up from the floor and walk,” or handling tantrums while everyone is watching me and judging. I would even like to go to my dentist to fix this damn tooth because it’s killing me for 3 weeks already.

But I can’t. Because I am tired of constantly asking for someone to babysit them while I do a couple of errands.

To tell you the truth, I can’t wait for them to grow up so I could get some of that long lost freedom. I can’t wait to be thirty-something. Everyone says “Don’t say that you don’t mean it, enjoy your youth.”

I know that someday I will miss these days, because my kids will grow up and they won’t need me anymore, but today isn’t the day.




Every summer, same trouble

waxing ugh

High temperatures, legs brace yourselves hot wax is coming. Someone told me that over time I will get used to the pain of waxing, but that time is yet to come (or at least I hope so), it still fucking hurts to the point where I have to gradually, over a couple of days, wax my lower legs. Damn. My kids are sleeping for an hour already and I still haven’t ought to get over with it.

Life goal: save up for an IPL machine. (When I think of the amount of time, patience and nausea, it sounds like a good investment).




So, I watched this movie a couple of days ago and it made quite an impression on me. A story of a woman in a really tough situation who made miracles happen. Great story, might I add.

The most inspirational movie I have seen in a while. The kind of movie that makes you strive to greater things and more accomplishments in your life.

Well, to make a long story short, it follows the life path of Joy Mangano (inventor of the miracle mop) from a struggling woman who is trying to make the ends meet, handling her dysfunctional  family, all while taking care of her young kids to an accomplished woman, owner of a multi-million-dollar company. What a great progress.

Now, I don’t know how loosely it is based on the life of the real Joy, but the on-screen story of Joy is truly remarkable, and when I saw the movie it kind of motivated me to be “better”, more hardworking and dedicated. It is a woman who handles a heavy burden and a lot of responsibilities of her every-day life.

I won’t write about more “technical stuff”, but Jennifer Lawrence did a great job in this movie. She became one of my favorite actresses, I realized i liked most of the movies she starred in.